I dreamed of adventure

When I was about eight I was given Swallows and Amazon to read and I could not do it. After Roald Dahl imaginative books, I found S&A pedestrian. Recently I thought I would give the book another go. This is not the most ground breaking book I have ever read but it appeals to me more now, than it did when I was a child. I was not allowed to be a pirate as a child as I was too busy being mum’s crutch. Now I can be a pirate and have adventures and I do. I say read it and relive the pirate in all of us.

Samhain and weep

Samhain means “summer’s end” to the Celt. They only celebrated two season: Summer and Winter. So Samhain is the celebrating the transitions between these two seasons. Samhain is also the third and final harvest. The nights from this point will get darker. It is one of two “spirit” nights, the other being Beltane. Samhain is the Feast of the Dead where food is left outside for wandering spirits. This is one of the four Greater Sabbats, for many this is most important, and is called THE Great Sabbats. Pagans see this as a very magical night. It is a night of Jack O’Lanterns, tricks or treats, and dressing up in costume, but also it is a night of divination.

The final stage?

Yesterday was the official graduation and that part of my life is now complete. It was a strange day for me, a day full of standing just behind everyone else’s happiness, a day when my loneliness wrapped itself around me, a day of secret goodbyes, a day of hope and new beginnings, a day were I nearly let my heart go (but did not) and a day where my life may be going to a place I had not even considered. Ultimately for those few moments when the world looked at you and you alone symbolically getting the award for three years of hard work was worth doing. It was a day of “yes I did good”. And while most people want home with their families or went out celebrating with mates, I returned home to lukewarm curry and praise. I was asked do I feel any different and the simple answer is no.

I found you at midnight

I found you at midnight,
All battered, bloodied and painfully torn.
Hardly the man I once loved,
Death mocking the day you were born.
I found you at midnight,
Somewhere between nightmares and dreams.
I cried an ocean with my tears,
Filled the air with my screams.
I found you at midnight,
I wanted revenge for your slaying.
The killer felt that he was almost free,
A dangerous game I was playing.
I found you at midnight,
Poisoned and tortured by a snake
I knew you were no virgin angel,
Yet your heart is pierced by a stake.
I found you at midnight,
Already enchanting flies to feast.
We had been destined to obscurity,
Until you faced the raven-like beast.
I found you at midnight,
And I stayed until the sun rose again.
I would not be able to rest,
Until I had got rid of the stain.
I found you at midnight,
Abused more than a Salem witch.
Empowered by the spirit of Kali,
Losing you made me into a bitch.
I found you at midnight,
Lost, alone, your story abruptly ended.
Killed over your supposed creed,
A lie that could have been amended.
I found you at midnight,
Nearly all of me died that tragic night.
But like dark flowers that blossomed inside,
All that was left, the desire to set it right.
I found you at midnight,
All dark silk and porcelain skin.
I wish I had the elixir of life,
But I left you moonbathing my only kin.
I found you at midnight,
Someone brutally cut short our time.
Your body the colour of autumn leaves,
My heart frozen at this terrible crime.
I found you at midnight,
Heaven, I hope is waiting for your soul.
Even if it clashes with our dark sides,
And you are not just rotting in some hole.
I found you at midnight,
The skies shed its own tears for you.
Something inside me snapped, my heart?
In pieces, parts and broken in two.
I found you at midnight,
When gothic lovers usually take flight.
When your heart was always mine,
But even 999 could not help that night.
I found you at midnight,
While the killer dances a deadly jig.
He had hurt the alleged heretic,
But I will gut that bastard like a pig.
I found you at midnight,
And like Alice I fell down the rabbit hole.
This imperfect girl is the perfect killer,
Searching from the North to South pole.
I found you at midnight,
Dark passion is all that I play with.
My blood is electric with hate,
Girl and death will witness you writhe.
I found you at midnight,
Lust for blood in its purest form.
My heart is no longer frozen,
The allegorical calm before the storm.
I found your killer at midnight,
Under the cover of a new moon.
I carved you out of my dreams,
And tortured him until while pasted noon.
The police found me at midnight,
And I will say this quick prayer.
As they take me into the soothing rain,
That you know how much I care

Samhain ghost

This is one of the biggest and most important festivals of the Celtic year. The Celts believed that this was the time of the year when the veil between the living and dead was the thinnest, the dead walked the earth, and it was also the time that those that dead during the year pass over. People use to gather to sacrifice animals, fruits and vegetables. Fire that were lit at the time had a dual purpose, of either helping those who have passed to light the way to the next life, but to also keep them away from the living. This is the time when anything goes, ghost, demons, and fairy are all out causing mischief. Over time Samhain become Halloween, especially as Christianity was changing the shape of faith. It is believed that before St. Patrick etc. the Druids would lead an elaborate ritual for Samhain, as they were not the monks of Christianity, this ritual was deemed satanic. Knowing that it would be difficult to wipe out this holiday completely, Christianity set about changing it to suit their teachings. In 601 AD Pope Gregory the First, is now synonymous with taking the native beliefs and converting it to the Christian beliefs.

Bags and Books to Work

Bags and pouches are an important but often forgetting tool of the craft. For example tarot readers keeps their cards in a tarot bags, and builds up a respect for the cards. By placing these cards in a bag, you are also protecting them from negative energy. There is also the practice of creating Mojo bags (also called gris-gris and conjuring bags) filled with herbs, powders, personal items such as hair clippings, symbolic representation of what is being conjured, coins for wealth, heart for love etc. and/or a piece of paper with the wish written on it. Another form of this is dream pillows, to help your unconscious mind deal with the problem in hand. These are also useful if you are being plagued by nightmares. Many pagans have used herbs to alter dreams, in the similar way that certain smells invoke memories or mood, then herbs can do the same. A book of shadows is a record of your pagan life. A book of shadows usually records things such as spells and magical workings, information on herbs, crystals, sabats, recipes, symbolism, God and Goddess and the really talented also include sketches. If the information comes from somewhere other than your own experiences, then it is worth noting that source. As time goes by you may notice a pattern with their information. Another section you may like to include is a section on books that you have read and what you thought of them.

Sweet Bells and Athames

Bells are often used to banish evil spirits, and is used to signify the beginning and the end of a ritual. It is also used as part of invocation, chants and mediation. It is also used to call the Goddess. This is due to the vibrations being sent out from the ringing off the bell. There is no specific bell needed. If hung on the door it is a sign of protection. An athame is a knife that is used in rituals. A black-handled athame is mentioned in the Key of Solomon. It is an important ritual tool but it is not used for cutting. An athame is used for magical purpose such as directing energy as an extension of their body. If you want to be cutting cords or herbs then a white handled knife called Boline. It is believed that you should use these often to increase the familiarity with the tool. An athame is the representation of the male and is symbolical used as male reproductive organ of the Horned God to impregnate the Goddess being represented by the chalice. Traditionally the athame is black-handed or wooden with a blade of steel. Although the blade can be made of wood as well, due to it being more connected to nature and is less risky to carry around if performing ritual outside.

It is not a story (yet)

I have bitten the bullet and decided to start writing a novel again. The last one I wrote “accidentally” got deleted when I split up with my ex, along with all the other pieces of work I had on a shared computer except my University work (luckily!). This is where I have stuck to poetry since, not so much work if I lose a poem to losing a novel. However I now have my own laptop and USB stick, so prevents any more accidents! I am also approaching this one differently as well. I usually just started typing and just see where it leads me but this time I’m going to do a proper character list and plot outline first. So far I have created the most basic plot outline and one character is nearly two hours of work. Wish me luck.

City of decay

It was the day the sun turned black,
That the zombies took over the earth.
The writing was on the wall, the end was nigh,
But you were still my source of happiness and mirth.
Outside was an endless procession of the undead,
Wickedly adorned with the symbols of magic.
Enchanted I watch them go by, friends and family,
But you here to hold me, makes it a little less tragic.
They trample over the gardens, crushing all the flowers,
Possessed they no longer see the beauty of the world,
Sired by an unknown source, government, terrorist,
Rumours are not the only things hurled.
The witch and her cat first took the blame,
Despite being the light in our dark, our healers,
But they could not weather the sorrow,
And disappeared and retracted their feelers.
No one owned up on the darkest night,
When the zombies become the norm.
But here with you, my lost lover and friend,
I do not care why, when you keep me warm.
So for over a month, the white demons has ruled,
Enthralling in their nightly dance.
Mixed within the black winged angels,
Together in their deathly trance.
Tonight the night is ghostly blue,
Alert with feline instincts, ready to run.
To become the queen of darkness,
With my holster and zombie gun.
Resisting the urge for nocturnal temptations,
Although each night may be our last.
If passions become unleashed, death would follow.
And takes us away from life too fast.
To be your virginal bride was all I wanted,
Your wife, lover and artistic muse.
But the undead took away that life,
And we have been left singing the blues.
A glimpse out of the door at the world outside,
I am faced with a sea of faces of winter.
But I can not lie to the broken mirror,
I wish I’d been a better sprinter.
It would almost be too easy to give up,
To step out into the night, in the toxic city.
Yet you wrap your arms around me,
My lord of the dark, I lose my pity.
I’d would rather take my chance with humans,
And dragons would be a calming force,
But we are hiding for unnatural creation,
Who want to eat us as a main course.
There are searching for us like a falcons,
Homing in on its petrified prey.
As we hid with the comforter of darkness,
Waiting for the end in the city of decay
As the zombies surround the house,
I hold you in my arms and one last kiss.
Pounding on the door, the end is now,
Dying with you would be zombified bliss.

Above and Closer

As I live my life as a human machine,
We glanced by on a chance meeting.
We met across the theatrical line,
Missed you and took a beating.
Do you want to play with me?
Pressurised into being ghost of belief.
I could be your Celtic Lilith,
And you could be my loving thief.
I no longer want to be ice hearted,
I will not push you further away.
You could demystify the laws of death,
Mirages of heaven nearly every day.
You make sure that nothing is forgotten,
Make me face my painful emotion.
While you are hard at work,
I drank a chalice of Hydra’s potion.
You watched me going under,
Locked within my secret room.
Talking to my nocturnal temptations,
Their ID leads to my lonely doom.
At first you were my gothic doll,
Rainbows were the place we never met.
We had more than a night of madness,
The three sisters of you was more than a threat.
I was beyond coming undone,
I was driven by a disease.
But you give me a glimpse of my future,
Water words started to freeze.
I not longer search for you in unfriendly skies,
You are no longer anonymous and unknown.
My blood no longer drops when you are around,
You are part of me, my darkly crone